<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Gentle Hands and Fragile Hearts by JustACuteWriteyLesbian</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25988581">Gentle Hands and Fragile Hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustACuteWriteyLesbian/pseuds/JustACuteWriteyLesbian'>JustACuteWriteyLesbian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Days to Come [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Nightmares, Post canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shared Trauma, Talking Out Their Feelings, Touch-Starved, and Touch Averse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:22:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25988581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustACuteWriteyLesbian/pseuds/JustACuteWriteyLesbian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Adora and Catra have gentle conversations with Glimmer, and then with each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Days to Come [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>198</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Gentle Hands and Fragile Hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora adjusted quickly to life back in Brightmoon. Catra… did not. She was anxious. Jumpy. She was so good at hiding it, but Adora could tell. She tried to remember how it was for her when she first arrived. There was so much light and color, so many new flavors and smells, it was all so… <em>different.</em> It was like nothing she had ever experienced. She hadn’t been able to imagine that people actually lived like this until she had done it herself. It was overwhelming. Adora was trying to be patient. She was trying to give Catra space and time to adjust. And it certainly didn’t help that she was torn between her unremitting desire to help the people of Etheria and her desperate need to keep Catra close to her.</p><p> </p><p>Catra, however, seemed more distant than ever. She shied away from Adora’s gentle advances. Sometimes Adora would unexpectedly touch her and she would hiss and draw her claws before realizing it was Adora and offering a meek apology. Sometimes she would catch Catra flinching, as if one of her thoughts had just hit her over the head. Sometimes she would notice Melog pacing nearby, growling softly at nothing in particular as Catra sat idly, cool and composed. And often, she would notice how Catra rubbed and scratched at the small scar on the back of her neck where Prime’s chip had been ingrained in her skin.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer had a room set up for her. It was a nice thought, giving Catra a space of her own so she could be alone, so she could feel safe. She had thought it would be more comfortable for them both. It was a smaller room, but it had all the regular accommodations, including a dresser, desk, bookshelf, superfluous cushions and pillows, and a hanging bed that, like Glimmer’s old bed, dangled from the ceiling high above the ground. The room notably lacked a trademark waterfall.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes Catra needed the space and would opt for sleeping in her own room. But most nights, they would sit in Adora’s room and Adora would chat about the things they did that day – the reconstruction efforts, the refugees, the tech Entrapta was repurposing – until they fell asleep in Adora’s bed, wrapped around each other. On these nights, Catra clung to her like a frightened animal. Adora could almost tangibly feel Catra’s tension as they held each other. She could feel the way Catra’s claws dug into her shirt, how Catra slept fitfully, always rolling away to the farthest edge of the bed. Though they fell asleep like this nearly every night since they had been back, Adora found that she always awoke in the morning to an empty bed and empty room.</p><p> </p><p>Catra was keeping her distance, physically and emotionally. Adora couldn’t understand it. Just a week ago, they were so happy. They had taken some time for themselves after Prime’s defeat and spent almost two weeks making their way through the Whispering Woods before returning to Brightmoon. In the woods, Catra was so gentle, so unafraid to show her affection. But since they had been back, it was like a wall had slowly risen between them.</p><p> </p><p>Adora didn’t know what to do. So, she did the only thing she knew: she threw herself into work. The reconstruction was coming along. Adora helped with planning and mobilizing people and resources, and She-Ra helped to rebuild towns that had suffered under Prime’s control. She would often find herself assisting Entrapta to deconstruct the control towers from the invasion and help her move the tech back to Dryll, “for analysis”. Sometimes she would be called to round up stray clones around Etheria. Entrapta had offered the clones a place in Dryll. There was plenty of room for them and she was helping to rehabilitate them along with Hordak and Wrong Hordak. It was after one of these excursions that Adora found herself collapsing on a bench in one of the Brightmoon gardens with Glimmer.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m feeling good about this.” Glimmer said excitedly, taking a seat next to Adora. “I think the clones are really adjusting. Or Entrapta’s just replacing her army of robots with an army of clones. It’s hard to tell.” She said with a nervous laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Adora said distractedly, her eyes intently trained on her feet.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer smiled at her fondly, with just a hint of concern. “We haven’t really gotten a chance to talk since you’ve been back. Tell me about your vacation!” she said enthusiastically.</p><p> </p><p>Adora blushed slightly and smiled down at the ground. “It was… it was perfect, Glimmer. I think we both really needed it.”</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer nudged her gently with her shoulder. “Oh, come on! Tell me what happened! Where did you guys go? What did you do? I want all the gory details.” She said with a teasing smirk.</p><p> </p><p>Adora looked away bashfully. “We did a lot of things. We looked at the stars all night and slept like, a lot. We watched the sun rise and set every day. We explored the woods. Everything’s so different now with the magic. The forest is so… <em>alive</em>. Oh! We found this really beautiful waterfall and spent the whole day playing in the water. Well, I played in the water and Catra mostly just sat in the sun. It was… really nice.”</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer scoffed. “What, that’s it? You were gone for almost two weeks and you just… watched the stars and played in a waterfall?” she asked incredulously, unsubtly digging for something juicier.</p><p> </p><p>Adora’s blush deepened and she rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “I mean, we did other things. I don’t know. We talked a lot. About… y’know, everything. We worked through a bunch of stuff. We talked about Prime and about Shadow Weaver and… I think… I think we were so focused on that, on just… <em>being together</em> that we weren’t really thinking about anything else.” Adora offered.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer gave her a small smile, apparently satisfied. She paused for a moment and looked at Adora thoughtfully, considering her next question.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you two… I mean you… you really never stopped loving each other? Like, the whole time?” she asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Adora glanced at her in surprise before looking sadly back down at the ground. For a moment, she didn’t say anything. She just stared at the lush grass by her feet, deliberating on her answer.</p><p> </p><p>“I tried really hard to let go.” She finally said, closing her eyes. “I really, really did. But I… I couldn’t. We… there’s too much there. Catra she… she’s always been with me. I don’t think I could imagine my life without her. I didn’t <em>want</em> to. And there was a time after the portal when I thought… I thought I could finally let go. That she finally pushed hard enough to drive me away. But after she saved you from Prime I…” Adora inhaled shakily. Tears began to form at the edges of her vision.</p><p> </p><p>“I was just… my heart was broken." she continued. "And I thought that all of that pain and anger was letting go but, looking back… when I got her back it was like… like she never left. Like I was… falling back into something I didn’t know I was missing. It’s not exactly the same. We’ve both been through so much. But… out there in the woods, she was so…” Adora cracked a weak smile through the tears threatening to spill over. “It was like I… <em>saw</em> her again, for the first time. My Catra. Not who she was when we were fighting and not what Prime tried to make her. And I feel… I feel so <em>happy</em> when I’m with her.” She smiled in earnest as a single tear ran down her cheek. “I love her so much. I always have.”</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer smiled warmly, feeling tears start to form in her own eyes. “I never knew.” She said, barely above a whisper. “I mean, you two have always had a bond, that was pretty obvious but… you never talked about it. Not once, Adora.” Glimmer looked at her with a sort of quiet concern tinged with… hurt.</p><p> </p><p>Adora could not look at her. She shifted her feet anxiously, squirming under Glimmer’s inquisitive gaze. “I know.” She said quietly. “It was… all so confusing. And I didn’t know what to do about it so I just… focused on being She-Ra. Look how that turned out.” She said, laughing humorlessly. “I don’t know. I… It hurt. A lot. And I… missed her. All the time. I missed what we had, and I thought…” Fresh tears welled up in her eyes. “I really thought things would never be okay between us again. And I couldn’t…” Adora took a steadying breath, trying hold back the storm of emotion brewing inside her. “I guess I thought that if it was that hard to admit it to myself then I might just break if I said it out loud. I was just… trying to be strong.”</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer actually laughed at that and Adora looked at her with surprise. “Adora, you know how dumb that sounds, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Adora blinked before chuckling lightly at Glimmer’s words, and at herself.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer’s expression softened as she went on. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have to tell you that being strong doesn’t mean you shouldn’t lean on your friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I know,” Adora replied, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I know that our friendship makes us stronger. And I know you’re always here for me. And I am so, so grateful for that. I don’t know it just… it hurt, and it felt really personal and… she was our enemy. I just couldn’t…” She laughed again at how things may have been different had she been open about this. Or maybe nothing at all would have changed except that she would have felt better about it. She wasn’t sure the exact moment she knew herself. On Prime’s ship? The Heart? The Woods? Or had it been before any of that? She smiled to herself and shook her head, not wanting to dwell on what might have been. “You’re right. It was dumb. I should have told you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you should have. What else are you keeping from me, huh?” Glimmer said playfully, nudging Adora’s shoulder with hers.</p><p> </p><p>Adora looked at her guiltily, once again averting her gaze. Glimmer frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Adora, what is it?” she said, leaning forward, trying to gauge Adora’s expression. “Adora?”</p><p> </p><p>Adora shifted nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“Adora.” Glimmer said in her most authoritative voice.</p><p> </p><p>Adora whined and wrung her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“You know whatever it is, you can talk to me.” Glimmer offered, her tone gentle and sincere.</p><p> </p><p>After a moment, Adora sighed and relented. “It’s… Catra.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shocker.” Glimmer said sarcastically but withdrew when she saw the pained look on Adora’s face. “I mean, what about Catra? I thought you just said... in the woods…”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the thing! In the woods everything was so… perfect. She was so gentle and sweet and… <em>happy</em>, and now she… she won’t even let me touch her. She pulls away when I try. She’s just been… distant. And I don’t know why. Everything was… And now it’s… I don’t understand, is it… is it me? Did I do something wrong?” Adora looked up at Glimmer pleadingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Adora, no. It probably doesn’t have anything to do with you. Catra just needs time to adjust. You remember how you were when you first got here? You couldn’t sleep alone for weeks.” Glimmer replied in an attempt to soothe her friend’s growing distress.</p><p> </p><p>Adora looked back down at the ground. “I know. And I keep telling myself that, that she just needs <em>time</em> and <em>space</em>, but I just wish… I wish she would talk to me. I wish she would stop pushing me away. I wish she would just… let me help.”</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer gave her a soft look and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Maybe… maybe it’s not something you can help with. Maybe she needs to figure some things out on her own. And maybe the best you can do is just be there for her when she’s ready. And if she’s not ready… if she doesn’t want your help…”</p><p> </p><p>Adora sighed, defeated. “I know. I know I can’t just wave my magic sword at this and make it go away. But I… I wish there was something I could do. Seeing her like this, it… it hurts, Glimmer.” she said, sniffling softly and wiping stray tears from her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>The queen wrapped her arms around her friend, holding her tightly, and said nothing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Glimmer found Catra sitting on the roof of the tallest spire in Brightmoon. Catra’s ear twitched as she heard Glimmer teleport onto the balcony below her. She scowled. Maybe if she just kept perfectly still, Glimmer would just… Melog mewed happily and rubbed its face against Glimmer’s legs. Glimmer giggled and scratched Melog behind the ears before looking around, finally spotting Catra.</p><p> </p><p>“There you are!” Glimmer exclaimed, exasperated. Well, so much for that.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Sparkles.” Catra grumbled, looking away, off into the distance.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer rolled her eyes and teleported onto the roof next to Catra, wobbling a bit as she found her balance on the tilted surface. Catra pulled away slightly, a soft growl escaping her throat. If Glimmer noticed Catra’s reaction, she was not dissuaded.</p><p> </p><p>“You need to talk to Adora.” she said in her most regal, commanding voice.</p><p> </p><p>Catra’s scowl deepened. “About what?” she feigned ignorance. She knew what Glimmer was going to say. She did not want to hear it.</p><p> </p><p>“About… all this.” Glimmer said, gesturing broadly in Catra’s direction.</p><p> </p><p>“All <em>what?</em>” Catra replied scathingly, looking up to glare at the queen.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on with you?” Glimmer asked, her tone softening. “I thought you were getting… I thought things were...”</p><p> </p><p>Catra hissed quietly and her eyes returned to taking in the view before her. The Whispering Woods stretched out before them as far as they could see. Beads of magic energy wafted through the trees and up toward the clouds. The sun was setting, and the sky was a sloppy mix of blues and yellows to match her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer sat hesitantly beside Catra, scanning her face for any sign of… well, she didn’t quite know what she was looking for. Catra remained silent. Glimmer sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Look,” she said. “Something’s obviously bothering you. Why don’t you just… talk about it? At least talk to Adora.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra’s scowl deepened but she resumed her wordless vigil. The clouds were gradually beginning to sport hues of pinks and reds.</p><p> </p><p>“Catra,” Glimmer continued. “She loves you. And she’s worried about you. I am too.” Catra’s behavior had not escaped Glimmer’s notice, but she, like Adora, had brushed it off as normal for her. Glimmer obviously did not know Catra as well as Adora did, but she had thought Catra might work through it on her own as she adjusted to life in Brightmoon. And perhaps she would, given time, but in the meantime she was suffering and so was Adora. “I know it’s hard,” she said. “But keeping it in like this is just hurting you. And Adora.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra’s claws dug into the roof paneling and she suddenly turned glaring fiercely at Glimmer, shouting, “Don’t you think I know that? I don’t know what’s wrong, Sparkles, I just…” she trailed off, looking away. To Glimmer’s surprise, she watched Catra take a few steadying breaths, as if she were trying to calm herself down. <em>She’s trying,</em> Glimmer thought. Her expression softened into one of concern and she waited for Catra to continue.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it. Especially not with Adora.” Catra said briskly.</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” Glimmer asked, trying her best to smooth the rough edge of frustration in her voice.</p><p> </p><p>Catra gritted her teeth. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, Sparkles.” She growled.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer furrowed her brow and put on her best queen face. “Actually, you do. I am the queen. You’re staying in my castle. And right now, you are being a <em>royal</em> pain.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra actually cracked a smile at that and her tense posture relaxed slightly. Glimmer waited patiently. After a moment, Catra sighed. Seemingly urged on by Glimmer’s silence, she softly began to speak. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Everything just feels… off. It’s like… it’s like that messed up portal reality. Everything was so perfect, but it was all wrong. I feel like that all the time. And I don’t know why. And I can’t talk to Adora about it because she… because I…”</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer nodded in understanding. “Because she’d blame herself.”</p><p> </p><p>“She just... she can't help herself from acting like it’s her job to fix everything for everyone. And I don’t… I don’t want her to feel like that with me. I don’t want her to have to worry about me. She... she does enough.” Catra said, tensing up all over again.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer blinked in surprise, realizing that Catra’s behavior did, in her own dysfunctional way, come from a place of caring. She looked up at the stars beginning to appear above them.</p><p> </p><p>“I felt that way after my mom…” she began sadly, not sure whether this was going to help or hurt.</p><p> </p><p>Catra looked at her with surprise, then remorse. Her eyes met the ground and she folded her ears back.</p><p> </p><p>“Everyone was acting like everything was okay,” Glimmer continued, deciding she may as well follow through. “But it wasn’t. Nothing was okay, and it seemed like I was the only one who knew that. But once I opened up about it I realized my friends were only trying to help. They just didn’t know how. They just… didn’t want to watch me suffer. And once we talked about it, we were able to work things out.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra said nothing. Her tail flicked about anxiously. Glimmer knew it might be a risky move, bringing up her mother. But they were going to have to have this talk eventually. May as well get it out of the way, she decided.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you didn’t mean for that to happen. For my mom… Just for the record, I forgive you.” She said calmly, looking out over the expanse of the Woods before them.</p><p> </p><p>Catra suddenly looked enraged all over again. After a moment, she sighed, and her expression changed into one of deep sadness. “Well, just for the record… I’m sorry.” she said finally.</p><p> </p><p>Neither of them said anything for a long time. They simply sat and watched as the sun slowly set beyond the horizon. Glimmer remembered her mother, strong and kind and so full of love. She thought about how it all happened, the last things she said to her. Sorrow and regret tugged at old wounds on her heart. She glanced at Catra. How funny life was, that they would be sitting here now. That Glimmer was trying to help her, that after everything Catra had put them through, she could find it in herself to call her “friend”. She smiled a small, secret smile. She could not help but think her mother would be… <em>proud.</em></p><p> </p><p>Finally, Catra broke the silence with a soft, “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer looked at her, a bit startled at being jerked out of her reminiscence.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay?” she coaxed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll… talk to Adora.” Catra said hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>Glimmer just smiled and looked back to the horizon. “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adora’s eyes flew open and she silently took a few moments to calm her ragged breathing. She had been having a nightmare. About Prime, the Heart, Catra… Catra. Where was Catra? Adora felt a sudden, desperate urge to feel her, to hold her in her arms, to remind herself that she was here, that she was safe, that they were together. She reached across the bed in the darkness, searching for a patch of soft, warm fur, but her hands were greeted by empty sheets. “Catra,” she called hoarsely. She heard a soft mew from the foot of the bed and sat up to spy Melog looking at her from its pile of cushions on the floor. Adora let out a small sigh of relief. If Melog was here, Catra was close by.</p><p> </p><p>“Catra,” she called again a bit louder, her eyes scanning the dark room. She listened intently but the only sound she heard was the soft trickling of the waterfall. Then she saw it. A shadow from the balcony, a silhouette in the moonlight. Catra’s pointed ears and flickering tail outlined on her bedroom floor. Adora rose from the bed and walked to the balcony.</p><p> </p><p>Catra was sitting on the railing overlooking the woods, still in her cropped red sleep shirt and simple black shorts. She sat perfectly still. Her posture was relaxed but Adora could tell she was just putting up her walls by the way she held her legs close to herself, the way the tip of her tail flicked back and forth. Adora approached cautiously. Catra’s ear twitched, hearing soft footsteps behind her. Without looking, she muttered a tired, “Hey, Adora.”</p><p> </p><p>“Catra,” Adora called, standing a few paces away. “What are you doing out here?”</p><p> </p><p>Catra did not answer immediately. Her tail swayed more anxiously, and she tightened her arms around herself. “Just… watching the stars.” She said weakly.</p><p> </p><p>Adora furrowed her brow in concern. “You mean like you were last night? And the night before? Catra, you’re not sleeping. You think I don’t notice, but I do and I… I’m worried about you.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra lowered her arms and her nails dug into the balcony railing. A soft growl escaped her chest. “It’s nothing, Adora. I don’t… I don’t want you to worry about me.” She said as calmly as she could manage.</p><p> </p><p>Adora suddenly felt a hot rush of frustration flare up inside her. “Catra, pushing me away like this is just making me worry more. What’s going on with you?”</p><p> </p><p>Catra did not answer. She sat very still, her muscles tensed, her ears laying flat against her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Catra, come on. Please just… say something.” Adora pleaded, more harshly than she had intended.</p><p> </p><p>Catra remained silent. Her reticence did nothing to abate Adora’s growing aggravation. She didn’t know why this was making her so… angry. She didn’t want to feel this way, not toward Catra, never again. And yet, try as she might, she could not seem to swallow the hot venom in her throat, could not relax her clenched fists. Slowly, she reached out and touched Catra gently on her back. Catra shrugged out of her grasp.</p><p> </p><p>Adora felt something in her snap. She grabbed Catra’s shoulder and spun her around, pressing Catra’s legs against the rail with her body. Catra’s eyes went wide with surprise before she snarled and pushed Adora back roughly. Adora took a few staggering steps backward before regaining her balance and fixing Catra with a cold, determined stare.</p><p> </p><p>“Why won’t you talk to me?” she demanded.</p><p> </p><p>Catra’s eyes were wild now with rage and… something Adora could not place. A sort of sad desperation, perhaps. “Because you can’t fix this, Adora! You can’t just wave your magic sword and fix my <em>mind</em>!” Catra screamed.</p><p> </p><p>“I can try!” Adora said, realizing as it came out how preposterous it sounded. “Catra, you have to talk to me! I can’t help you if you keep shutting me out!”</p><p> </p><p>“You are such an idiot,” Catra shot back with none of the usual affection that accompanied the phrase. “Why are you like this? Why do you feel like it’s your job to fix everything?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I love you!” Adora said quickly, her anger subsiding at the sound of those words. “Catra please,” she continued in a much gentler tone. “Please, I just… I can’t stand to see you like this. I want… I just got you back and you keep… you keep pushing me away. And I can’t do this, Catra, I… I just want….” Adora felt tears begin to roll down her cheeks and she reached a trembling hand toward Catra. This strange distance between them had suddenly become unbearable.</p><p> </p><p>Catra glared at her, confused. <em>Me, </em>she thought with startling realization. <em>She wants me. </em>They simply stared at each other for one excruciating moment. Finally, Catra began to hesitantly walk toward Adora, who had averted her eyes toward the ground, wiping away tears. Adora looked up, meeting Catra’s mismatched eyes. Again, they stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say or do next. Catra remembered the talk she had had with Glimmer just the night before. <em>Adora is just trying to help</em>, she reminded herself. <em>Why can’t I just let her help?</em> Slowly, Catra raised her hands and slid them up Adora’s arms. “C’mere.” She said weakly. Adora eagerly fell into her embrace.</p><p> </p><p>They stood like that for a while, holding each other tightly, Adora crying softly into Catra’s shoulder. Neither of them said anything. Catra gently stroked through her long golden strands of hair and Adora clutched tightly onto the fabric of Catra’s shirt.</p><p> </p><p>When her tears had subsided, Adora pulled back to look at Catra’s face. Her hand reached up and brushed the smooth fur down Catra’s jaw. For the first time since they had been back, Catra leaned into the touch, closing her eyes, a faint purr vibrating from her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Why haven’t you let me touch you since we’ve been back?” Adora asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Catra opened her eyes. Adora half expected to see anger or worse – fear. But Catra seemed… pensive. As if she hadn’t fully considered the answer herself.</p><p> </p><p>“It just… it still doesn’t feel real, I guess.” Catra responded softly.</p><p> </p><p>Adora continued to rub her thumb over Catra’s face. “Catra, this is real. I’m here. We’re safe.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra’s face contorted into a pained expression. “I just… I keep feeling like I’m going to… wake up. Like, this is all…” Her hand slowly reached up to cover the back of her neck and she shivered. Adora held her tighter.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s gone, Catra. He can’t hurt us anymore. I’m here. I love you. And I’m not going to let anything hurt you.” Adora said with hopeful conviction.</p><p> </p><p>Catra gave her a weak smile. <em>You’ve never been able to protect me,</em> she thought. <em>Not from Prime, not from Shadow Weaver, not from myself.</em> She did not say it out loud. She simply lowered her head to rest it in the crook of Adora’s neck and let Adora hold her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here,” Adora whispered in her ear. “I’m not leaving you. Never again.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra purred softly and thought that perhaps Glimmer had been right. About the talking thing. It helped. Catra could feel her body relax into Adora’s touch in a way she hadn’t been able to since their return to Brightmoon. For the first time all week, everything felt… right. She loved this. She loved <em>her</em>. She wanted this all the time, this feeling, this warmth. She did not know how to keep it, how to make it stay, but if she was going to do this then…</p><p> </p><p>“Nightmares.” Catra said so softly that Adora was not sure she heard it.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Adora asked, pulling back to look at her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been having nightmares. Since… everything. I can’t sleep. I can’t close my eyes without seeing…” Catra’s hand once again reached up to the small scar on the back of her neck. “And sometimes when I’m awake it… it feels like I’m still back there. And I feel like… I feel like I’m losing my mind. Like I can’t tell what’s real sometimes. And I just… I’m scared.” Catra said, tears beginning to cloud her vision.</p><p> </p><p>Adora stroked the silky soft fur behind her ears, nothing but gentleness and concern written across her face. She was silent for a moment before meeting Catra’s eyes intently and saying, “I have nightmares too. Every night. And sometimes when I’m awake.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra’s eyes widened and then softened in understanding. Adora’s hands grasped her tighter. She did not avert her gaze as she continued, “Sometimes it’s Prime. Or Shadow Weaver. Fighting in the war, losing She-Ra, the portal. And sometimes it’s… you. Losing you, you being… chipped or…” Catra lifted her hand to wipe a stray tear from Adora’s cheek. “And sometimes it… it happens when I’m awake. Sometimes something will remind me of… everything that happened. Or sometimes it feels completely random. I just get this… this dread and I feel like something terrible is about to happen. And it feels like I’m having a nightmare, but I’m awake.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra looked at her pleadingly. “How do you… How do you deal with it? How do you pull yourself out?”</p><p> </p><p>Adora thought for a moment, her eyes distractedly wandering over Catra’s features, from the gold and green specks in her eyes to the freckles across her nose. “Well… this helps.” She said finally, wrapping her arms around Catra’s waist and resting their foreheads together. Adora inhaled deeply and ran her hands up Catra’s back. “This helps a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra let go of the ragged breath she was holding and felt herself surrender to Adora’s touch.</p><p> </p><p>“Catra, please. I need you. I just… please just stay with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Catra felt all of her walls crumble under Adora’s gentle plea.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” She said shakily. “I’ll stay.”</p><p> </p><p>Adora made a noise that was half-way between a laugh and a sob. She wiped away the last of her tears with the back of her hand and whispered, “Promise?”</p><p> </p><p>Catra smiled a sad and delighted smile at that. She grasped Adora tightly. “I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Adora looked at her with so much adoration, and Catra felt herself melting into her gaze. She took Catra’s hand and gently led them back into the room. Adora gingerly climbed into the bed and Catra tentatively curled up next to her, her head resting on Adora’s shoulder. Adora held her tightly and began to lightly scratch circles down Catra’s back. She felt Catra’s body gradually begin to relax on top of her and heard the soft vibration of Catra’s purr.</p><p> </p><p>She continued to lazily rub Catra’s back through her shirt until her hand reached the base of Catra’s tail and her fingers found a soft patch of fur. Catra inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly. She did not pull away. Adora’s hand froze. She hesitated for just a moment before reaching underneath the hem of Catra’s shirt and running her fingers languidly up Catra’s bare back. Adora heard Catra’s breath quicken and felt her claws dig gently into the skin at her collarbone.</p><p> </p><p>Adora froze again. “Is… is this okay?” she asked timidly.</p><p> </p><p>Catra did not answer. Instead, she lifted her head and simply gazed into Adora’s steely blue eyes. Adora found her expression impossible to read. Then Catra slowly sat up, lifted her shirt up over her shoulders, and carelessly threw it to the side. Adora stared at her in the darkness. She felt her own heart begin to race and she swallowed hard. Slowly, deliberately, Catra leaned down and returned to her place, resting her head on Adora’s shoulder. Adora relished the feeling of Catra’s soft fur against her skin. She felt her face flush as she stroked down the expanse of Catra’s back, again and again, threading her fingers through her short hair. She sighed contentedly as Catra’s quiet purr became a powerful rumble. Adora felt her own body relax and she let the sound lull her into a dreamless sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Obligatory Catra is both touch starved and touch averse. Kinda turned into something else I guess but you get the idea.</p><p>I’m also probably going to go deeper into the whole Angella thing in a different chapter. Catra doesn’t get off that easy.</p><p>If y'all have any prompts or ideas for more chapters, throw them my way. I'm good at writing, I'm bad at coming up with content.</p><p>I'll be putting up another one real soon so stay tuned.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>